Friday, May 1, 2009

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I spent my last day in Varanasi doing multiple errands all around town, and spent my last night in Varanasi with my friends. We sat around, reminisced, laughed and, eventually, cried. We said all the things everyone else has said before, and we meant them. They, nor I, could have gotten through this year without each other. I have said many times that I always knew I could survive India, but without the few people I had in that city, that survival would have not been worth it. In other words, I spent my last day in Varanasi doing multiple errands all around town, and spent my last night in Varanasi being a Sapasaurus.

As predicted, the rickshaw ride to the train station was epic. I was crying for most of it, until faced with the unfortunate minute realities of men calling at me and having to signal for the rickshawalla when he turns. They really killed my buzz. So I get to the train at 7:50 PM, when it leaves at 8 PM, thinking everything would be fine. My train was there (it had arrived on time...?); a friend of my bother's, Moosa, was there to see me off. I get on the train, Moosa helps me with my bags and clandestinely gives me two gifts, and then says goodbye. Then the train leaves at 7:58 PM. Two minutes early. TWO. MINUTES. EARLY. I don't know if people who haven't been to India will understand how crazy this is, but it left EARLY. WHAT? That's the equivalent of an American Airlines flight leaving 5 hours early and turning into a giant pumpkin or something. That shit never happens! India: what? It was insanity. Anyway. Moving on.

So this train ride turns out to be one of the more fun things I have ever done. First of all, I love trains. Thus, good train ride. Second of all, I was worried that I should have just gotten the more expensive flight until I figured this out. I pretty much rented out a shared, air conditioned hotel room that came with a bed and sheets and a blanket that took me to Delhi in 12 hours for 15 bucks. It was way, way better than staying in my apartment in Varanasi. It was kind of like taking a vacation on the way to a vacation. 

When I got to Delhi I got in a rousing argument with a rickshawalla, whom I agreed to pay 100 rupees to take me 15 km away (which was a pretty good price- for him. I sort of got hosed.) but then he took too long and I went to the pre-paid rickshaw place and paid 80 rupees on the advice of a rogue rickshawalla with a towel on his head. I'm not being racist; he really had a small, pink hand towel on his head. Anyway, I took a rickshaw to my brother's friend's apartment. Oh! His name is Simon and he's a photographer who takes some pretty awesome photographs. There are even some photos of my very own Varanasi on his website. So after tooling around on the internet in his swanky apartment for too long, I do my laundry and then go out. This is about the time I decided to try a Mexican restaurant in India. 

Now I will start off by saying things could have been much, much worse for me and this restaurant. I ended up ordering a quesadilla which was good...sort of. Actually, no it wasn't good. But it was much better than I anticipated. But I talked to my waiter for a long time about the cricket leagues in India. Oh man, do these guys love their cricket. The Chennai Super Kings were playing a team from Rajasthan in the Championship. That's all I retained from the conversation. Oh, except the Chennai Super Kings have three cheerleaders. One is White with blond hair, the next is also white, but with brown hair, and the last one is Black. Do you know how many Black people are in India? Including that cheerleader on TV, three. Weird. Anyway, so dinner was niiiicce.....

And then I came back and watched one more episode of Gossip Girl, which rounded out my episode count to 5, I think. Yes, I watched 5 episodes of Gossip Girl in one day. Don't judge me. After that I went to sleep in the ever-lovely air conditioning, and woke up this morning super happy to be alive. I've had two bowls of Chocos today, and am getting ready to go out and buy a new pair of shoes. My birkenstocks have survived the past 6 years, but I fear their time may be running out. 

So my life is pretty great right now. I've been mooching off of my brother's connections pretty much all year, and it's served me quite well. Maybe when I'm a big bad journalist like him I'll be able to pawn off my siblings onto my big bag journalist friends. No promises though, big bro.
 
Well everyone. I leave India tonight at 10 PM with my friend Sara to head off to East Asia. We'll first fly to Mumbai and from there get a direct flight to Seoul, South Korea. We'll be in South Korea for a week or so, and then go to Japan for a little over a week. Within Japan we are planning to see Tokyo, Mt. Fuji and Kyoto. 

Perhaps I will update in from East Asia. Again, no promises.

Thanks for reading about my time in India, everyone. I hope you enjoyed it. If you're heartbroken over the final India post, look at this; it will for sure cheer even you up.

-allison

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Accident Report GH-727

Okay I can't go on without writing this: My stomach is about to explode. To set the scene, picture nine students taking a Hindi final. We are scattered throughout the program house, taking our exam and eating snacks.

First of all, before the exam, the didis (the two women who cook for our program who are absolutely-tootly wonderful) showed me how to make imli chutney. So I was standing in the kitchen furiously writing down names of foods and vague measurements sweating my proverbial balls off when suddenly Sharda-didi actually shoves a jawbreaker-sized chunk of brown sugar in my mouth. It was delicious...in that way raw sugar is. Mostly it was just absurdly sweet and uncomfortable and did nothing to alleviate my already-persistent nausea.

After that, we started our exam and the didis proceeded to make tasty snacks for us, non-stop, for 2 hours. The snacks were given, in order, as follows:

Bowl of Muesli (oh how foolish the young are when they are hungry)
Chai
Chick Peas in sauce (I gave all mine to Ed)
Potato Samosas (x4 servings for myself)
Imli Chutney
Cilantro and Mint Chutney
Fried Pieces of Deliciousness (AGH I just ate another one because they are so good)
Mango Shakes with Ice-Cream (x one more half-glass)

And then Sanghamitra-Ji asked if we wanted to eat lunch. ARE YOU KIDDING. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TURN MY BODY ANYMORE. I MUST LIE DOWN IMMEDIATELY.

Gasp. Okay. I think I can write about other things now. Maybe. Gurgle.

So a week ago I was on my bike going to Madanpura, just going along, doing my thing, when I decided, perhaps also foolishly, to pass a slow-moving cart being pulled by a guy on a bicycle. I hear honking behind me, but I'm always hearing honking behind me, so I remain unworried. I sidle up next to him and give him a nice cordial nod. A mid-sized van then pushes my bike into the cart, pinning my hand between the handlebar and the side panelling, while my left foot gets stuck in the cart while getting pummeled by the spokes of my bike. All three of us go on like that for about 30 really painful seconds, when finally the van disengages, and drives off through the intersection. The cart and I are both going the same speed. We look at each other briefly, he shrugs, and we turn in our respective directions. Ain't no thang. Right.

My hand still hurts, so I glance down at it; other than a strange white spot in the middle, nothing seems to be wrong. Meaning, I am not bleeding, I still have a hand etc. I say to myself, "Whew, dodged that bullet," and keep going. But then my hand really, really goddamn hurts and I look down again. The previously white spot is now dark red and swelling about a quarter of an inch off of my hand. It looks as if I inserted a bullet-sized something into the top of my hand. Things have, obviously, taken a turn for the worse.

I get to my Urdu ustaad's house to teach his kids, but ask for ice and a cloth instead. I ice it, the swelling doesn't decrease at all. Eventually Salman Sahab tells me I need to take the ice off (which is dripping all over his floor since ice melts in one millisecond here) and we both look at it. It seems as if the van stole about 10 percent of the surface area skin on the back of my hand in addition to making the weird red spot. Salman Sahab puts anti-biotic powder on it and wraps it up with gauze. (A note to anyone in the medical profession reading this. Anti-biotic powder: Legitimate or not?) So now I wear my hand wrapped up every day to try to minimalize whatever India could put in my body via an open sore. Here are photos of the wound about two days after it happened. The ones I took the day of are way less impressive, so I'm posting these ones instead.













And this is what my hand looks like on a daily basis now. Hopefully bandages are big in Japan?



Let's see. Other than that, I finally turned in my paper. It ended up being 104 pages and I titled it "Are Ram and Ali Friends?: Hindu-Muslim Friendships in English-Medium Primary Schools in Banaras." And yes, that is the real name. It will be forever known to the University of Wisconsin University system as "Are Ram and Ali Friends?" And no, I'm not ashamed.

The weather has been predictably terrible recently, with absurdly high temperatures like 105 or 111 degrees. At night I lie awake thinking about all the times I joked about the high temperatures here. And then I curse whatever evil fairy planted Junior Year Abroad in my head. Hear that, Scott? I blame you.

In other news, Katie and Michael visited me! Katie is a friend of mine from school whose blog you can find here. From Cairo, she mostly writes about the Muslim Brotherhood (when Egypt doesn't block her IP address). And Michael is her husband on Facebook.

Anyway, it was very fun and we did the ultra-touristy and ultra-beautiful activity of taking a boat ride. I realize I haven't posted photos in a while, and I don't think I have ever posted photos of Banaras. So, here are a few.










The girl is Katie, and the boy is Michael. Which of these photos looks like I photoshop-ed my friends into a stock image of Banaras?

If you picked the last one, you would be correct.

So, I leave Banaras in six days, after which I will spend two days in Delhi and then head off for South Korea and Japan. I keep having these moments of terror/elation when I realize I'm leaving India. Usually I get them once a day and the two feelings always come together. I think about burritos and sidewalks, and then I realize I'll have those things because I decidedly won't be here. Processing things is going very slowly right now, so I probably just won't think about it until the day I leave. I anticipate the rickshaw ride to the train station will be epic. After spending so much of my time hating India, it's bizarre to be given the chance to be somewhere else. Despite my better judgement, I think I might actually miss India.

I hope you all are having a lovely end of April. I will hopefully be able to update as Sara and I travel through Seoul and Japan, and perhaps I will update one final time from India while I'm in Delhi.

-allison

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Promise

I swear I will post in the next few days.

I turned in my Fieldwork Project.

I took my language finals.

I was hit by a car.

I have pictures.

-allison

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My Internet-Continental Journey

So I've completely ignored my fieldwork project for the last two weeks. The mission was a complete success, and I am pleased to announce that I have made absolutely no headway in the tome of a paper due in two weeks. I don't expect a medal, but I don't think a pat on the back would be inappropriate.

Instead of working on my project, I have been pitter pattering around the internet. The following is a list of things I have wikipedia-ed in the last week.

Dr. Kevorkian
The Kennedy Curse
Rose Kennedy
Lindsay Lohan
Samantha Ronson
Charlotte Ronson
Rohan (Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson)
Weather Underground
Bill Ayera
Akon
LeT
Yamam
Canada
Monaco
Varanasi
Jim Krasinski
Pam Beesley

Which brings me to my next point: I have spent way, WAY too much time youtube-ing "The Office" clips.

I told my sister that I was going to spend my 6 days in San Diego eating, sleeping, and watching TV. I will occaisonally breathe and visit the bathroom, but I am not kidding when I say I want her to Tivo 4 entire series of shows. I am not kidding. I will gladly sit for 6 days, and as my friend Clare would say, forcefully make my ass to graft to her couch. And I will not- I repeat- will not regret a single moment of my wasted existence. I might take a break from those 5 activities to play with my sisters adorable puppy, but those times will be few, short, and far between if I have anything to say about it.

In other news, I am in Varanasi for 4 more weeks as of today. Though, I might go on a little jaunt sometime near April 24th for a week or so, but who knows. I will, for sure, let you all know once that happens.

Okay. I'm going to go now. There's a "Jim and Pam's Best Moments: 3" that I've just been dying to watch.

-allison

Monday, March 23, 2009

Here Are 10 Things, Because I Have Hindi Class in T-13 Minutes

Thus, this will be a quick entry. I know I haven't update in a while, but my rough draft was due and one thing led to another...You get it. So, here's a list of things that happened.

1) Holi happened. It was crazy and my eyebrows were dyed pink for, well, eternity. I will, someday, put pictures op on flickr. I will subsequently tell all of you.

2) My bike got stolen on Holi. Nice.

3) I turned in my rough draft: 89 pages of the worst thing I or anyone else literate in the English language has ever written.

4) I went to Kolkata.

T-minus 8 minutes.

5) I saw the Victoria Memorial, St. Paul's Catherdral, Flury's, and a mall.

6) Sara, Mary Beth, and I went to a mall in the suburbs of Kolkata. We saw the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," and then went to a department store. I then had a major ferak out about going back to America and almost vomited. I'm fine now, but I'm terrified to go back home. I'm sure it will be fine, but no one warned me that reverse culture shock would remove from me my ability to stand up without vomiting. Who knew.

7) Now I'm back in Varanasi and I didn't do my Hindi homework. Don't tell Virendra-Ji.

8) I scrubbed my bathroom for approximately 2 hours and now it glitters like gold.

9) I backed up all my photos and music onto an external hard drive!

10) I leave Varanasi in 5 and a half weeks.

I apologize for my absence on here recently. My life has been one crazy episode after another and I'm trying to survive long enough to start my senior year in college.

-allison

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Objects in the Mirror Are Closser Then They Appear

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, but this post will inevitably be sort of lame. Except the monkey part, which will be awesome. Aren't you already sort of excited to read about it?

Saturday started out with me "waking up" (I say this mostly in jest, because I was awake the whole night PSYCHE!) at seven o'clock, putting on a kameez with a dupatta and jeans, getting on my bike, and going to the S.S.V. School for a field trip. The field trip was sold to me as a day-long (7:30 am departure with a projected return time at 8pm) trip with classes 3-8 to the "nearby" waterfalls.

I arrive there at 7:25, and weirdly enough, everyone actually ends up arriving before me. Everyone, that is, except the bus driver. Psyche.

So I spend an hour standing in the school which is swarming with children with nothing better to do than hit each other and run. I awkwardly stand next to the other teachers, who have obviously formed lifelong friendships with each other and have no interest in talking to me, and watch the children. Me and two students (out of 90) are the only ones in salwar suits, and I feel sort of dorky. Everyone else has ultra trendy (read: sequined) western clothes. Eventually the bus arrives, and boys go in one while girls pile into another. Now, the seats in the bus are not the standard benches, but individual seats. And someone told the principal there were 45 seats on one bus, when in actuality there were only 30. Thus, there is a serious seat crunch. I, again awkwardly, stand otuside the bus for about 20 minutes with people scurrying around me until I am beckoned into the girl's bus. I am seated in the seat right behind the bus driver, aloong with the huge vats of food. Apparently I will always be a dweeb, no matter how many years or miles I get away from 5th grade.

I sit on the bus for an hour or so, sharing my headphones with a disgruntled 12 year-old who would only smile at me when I played Hindi songs on my iPod. Then we reach a river. A big, wide river, with a bridge that looks like it's floating on huge iron pills. It looks stable in that third-world kind of way. Despite this, we all have to get out of the bus and walk across this bridge. While me and 90 children are on this bridge, we hear the bus behind us, and turn around. We all see the bus barreling towards us, honking the whole way. The children start screaming and run to the edge of this one-lane and now bouncing bridge. Now, maybe I'm overreacting, but WHY THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? If it was due to a weight issue, wait for the children to get off the stupid bridge, and in any case, 90 godamn children are on this one-lane small floating bridge. You can wait for 5 stupid minutes to ensure you don't kill an 8 year-old.

So after the bridge part we drive another hour and a half and arrive at the waterfalls at about 12:15. We have to park a little bit away because there was some walking to do, and every single student asks me at least once, "Is this water? Is there water? Where are the waterfalls? Are there no water in it?"

....

So, anyway, once we walk the 200 feet to the waterfall, the children are appeased and we descend the many steps to get to the water. And, I admit, there isn't a whole lot of water. There is some, thankfully, but not much. (I'm sorry I don't have any photos, but bringing my digital SLR camera to a waterfall with two busfulls of middle schoolers didn't seem like a great idea at the time. I hold the same opinion now.) So, I walk around, or am dragged around, by a bunch of girls. They all want me to swim, and I keep saying that I won't because I don't have a change of clothes. But after an hour of heckling, I am persuaded into swimming. About half a second after getting in waist deep I regret my decision, and continued to regret it until- no, I still regret it. (Jeans + water + 6 hours of bus rides = one of my least favorite activities.)

A student named Shelja comes over to me and swims with me. Swimming, of course, really means sitting on the slime covered rocks at the bottom of a pool of waist-deep murky water and sometimes splashing each other to inject some extra-fun mischief into the experience. It was just really great. After everyone had enough of swimming, we eat lunch and go back in the bus. Some of us are uncomfortably damp and itchy.

On the way I realize that I should to go to the bathroom before we are sequestered on a bus for another several hours. So, I ask a teacher if there is a bathroom in the vicinity, which obviously there isn't. So she says, "Can I stand here as you go behind that building?" I do a double take and figure there is some sort of translation issue. I awkwardly tell her that she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, which she doesn't understand. I finally tell her she can and go behind the building. I jump a small fence and immediately find that I am in the center of a thorn bush. My dupatta is caught in it, as well as a significant portion of my kurta. I concentrate on freeing them from their pointy attackers, and without looking up I move a few steps away. As soon as I undo my belt, I look up. A man is standing about 100 meters away and when I see him, he yells, "WOOOO!!" I loudly swear at India, and quickly walk back towards the fence. However, the briar bush is in between me and said fence, and it grabs my dupatta and my kurta for the second time. I swear again, seeing the man waving a stick and still screaming. After a few seconds I tear my clothes away from the malicious plant and go back to the front of the building. All of the teachers had decided it was important to wait for me, so 8 Indian professors see me rebuckling my belt, which I think was just really classy.

There is one more stop before we return (Remember: there are 6 hours of unadulterated bus riding involved in this day trip), and it is a natural dam. At least, it was introduced to me as a dam. I don't know how to describe it, but it's not really a dam. It's kind of like a rocky basin. Yeah. Anyway, so we all go there, with most of the teachers and classes 3-5 staying at the top, while the upper classes and some other teachers descend into the basin. I see this as a prime moment to finally use the bathroom (or...the outdoors), seeing as it was almost completely deserted. Almost immediately I realize that though it is deserted of humans, the same is not true of monkeys (This is the beginning of the part I was telling you about).

I climb up a small rock, and cross paths with a completely disinterested monkey. She, it definitely seemed like a she, sees me, but walks right past me. I mean like...right past me. She doesn't pause or even really look at me. I feel sort of like the monkey whisperer. So, I find a quiet secluded corner, use the outdoors, and then decide to walk around for a bit. I walk down this weirdly unfinished pathway, and decide to sit on a big rock overlooking the basin, where everyone can see me, and where I am about 100 yards away from the lower classes.

I see the principal far below me talking to chaiwalla (a man selling tea) and the man climbs up the entire basin, doling out chai as he goes. He finally gets to me last, hands me chai, and then gives me a small bag of snacks that the principal had paid for and had told the man to give to me. I take both, and watch the man walk away. About a minute later, I see a monkey steadily approaching me out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't scared right away, but as he gets closer, I realize that he's headed straight for me. He eventually makes it all the way to me, and sits at my 7 o'clock, about 5 feet away. I sip my chai, and glance warily back at him. He looks completely benign. Trying to recall any wilderness information I have ever heard, I face him, put my arms above my head, and yell "Hut!" (which is what Indians say to animals to make them move). The monkey jumps back, barks, and bares his teeth at me. I declare it a tie and face forward. The monkey then moves to sit right next to me (about 2 feet). Right about now is when I started totally freaking out. I start, in my head, planning where the nearest hospital is, and which one I would trust most to not give me AIDS. I drink the last of my chai, and throw my cup, hoping he will run after it. Instead of running after it, he takes it as a battle cry and jumps up on his hind legs with his teeth once again bared. I stand up, with the snacks hidden in my hand, and he goes into a pounce position. Uh oh. He jumps directly at me, looking right in my eyes. Not at the food, but at me. We hold eye contact during the first leg of his jump, and then I, ninja-like, crinkle the bag of snacks, and as he is coming towards me, step back and deftly throw them to my right. He turns his attention to the snacks, passing the space I was previously occupying, and runs off. I turn towards the group and walk towards them, laughing hysterically (like...crazy-hysterically, not funny-hysterically). I stumble over some boulders and when I reach the group, tons of children come up to me asking, "Where are you from? Monkey!" which I still don't really understand, but I take it to mean as, "Holy shit you took that monkey to SCHOOL!" We spend a few more minutes at the basin, and then we pile back in the bus to go home. I, again, sit behind the bus driver.

One thing I've noticed is that something inside me broke during my second 36-hour train ride. I can gladly spend up to 4 hours with nothing entertaining me besides a window. Seriously. It's ridiculous. So, after doing that for a long time, the principal's brother walks up to my seat and asks the little girl sitting next to me to switch seats with him. She leaves, and he sits down. The following conversation ensues:

Him: Sing me a song.
Me: No.
Him: Oh please? Sing me a song.
Me: Hah. No.
Him: Please? Sing.
Me: No.....No.
Him: Sing just one song.
Me: Fine. (I sing one line from a Bollywood film)
Him: Sing another song.
Me: No.
Him: Sing another song.
Me: No.

That goes on for a bit...And then we start talking about exercise, which spurrs the "Riddles" conversation.

Him: Do you do yoga?
Me: No, but I run in the mornings, usually.
Him: Oh. I have a joke for you, but you will not like it. You'll think me mean. But, I'm not, I just am liking jokes. You'll think it mean. Don't you think?
Me: Well, I don't know the joke yet...So I don't know. But I like jokes.
Him: You like jokes? Tell me an American joke.
Me: Well umm, I know a riddle.
Him: Okay!
Me: Okay, what gets bigger as you take more out of it? (Insert 5 minutes of Hindi and English decription here)
Him: I don't know. I don't....know. Tell me.
Me: A hole!
Him: (slapping knee) Oh! Tell another!
Me: Okay...What gets wetter as it dries?
Him: Hm. Colors?
Me: ...what? No...a towel.
Him: That is what I said! I am right! Colors!
Me: What? But...it's a towel.
Him: Right. Colors.
Me: Right. Nice.
Him: So can I tell you a joke?
Me: Sure.
Him: So there are many ants eating from a sugar pile. They walk up, one by one, and each eat one piece sugar. But one doesn't take. Why?
Me: Because he's diabetic?
Him: Yes! You are smart!
Me: Really? That's the answer?
Him: Yes! Okay next one. Many ants walking in a row, but there is hole. They walk, and each one walk around hole. But one, he doesn't. Why?
Me: Because he's blind.
Him: HOW DID YOU KNOW?
Me: Hah. I told you I was smart!
Him: NO, TELL ME WHO TOLD YOU. TELL ME.
Me: No...I swear. I just guessed.
Him: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

Then he starts a conversation about spiritual people in Banaras.

Him: Do you want to be a spiritual leader?
Me: Oh yeah, I was thinking about dabbling a little in that. It sounds fun.

He then goes into a detailed description about what I would be like if I were a spiritual leader. He tells me that all my actions would be responsible for the community and society would think I was perfect, but my life would not be mine. He goes on to offer to be my first disciple, shave his head, and tattoo my name on his hand. He goes into great detail as to how our lives would be.

Him: Do you you want to be a spiritual leader?
Me: No.
Him: Good.

The conversation sort of fizzles and he eventually leaves. I still don't know how I feel about it. I think I feel totally creeped out, but I'm not sure.

About an hour after this, we arrive back at the school. I speed home, still damp, on my bike, anxious to take a shower.

-allison

Monday, February 23, 2009

Note Strikes Back

Dear people who are having a wedding across the street,

I give up; you have won this uneven and unjust war.

I bought ear plugs.

Love,
Allison


Dear everyone else,

I've decided to take this as a gift. I will be happy about the really great amount of loud music that plays until 3 AM in my room. In fact, wedding season ends in a mere 3 weeks. 3 weeks! That means I only have 3 weeks left of 24-hour, conscious time! My friend, think of all the things I can do when I'm not sleeping. I can read, I can paint, I can wash things, I can listen to music! These 3 weeks are going to go by awful fast! Oh, how I wish these people would wed forever just across the street! How much fun I do have, slapping my knee in joy sitting in my bed! I hear the cheers of the crowd and revel in the delight of so many true night owls. It is a pleasure only given by God to live within 100 yards of a large temple and a wedding courtyard.

I welcome death.

Love,
Allison